7th month...

there're always a lot of stories about this month.. like opening of the hell gates and spirits bringing the sick ones away..

well.. by today, there're already 2 people whom i know of had passed away... 1 is francis' grandma... i hope that he'll be strong as ever... the other is my great grandpa (mum's mum's parents).. he's 93 this year.... i managed to visit him when i came back to sg... he's barely covered with skin n little meat.. basically, all i saw was similar to a skeleton look-alike... i felt so terrible seeing him like this n especially on his life support equipment... i felt relieved for him now.. at least he wont have to suffer as much as in the past...

i guess the next person might be my great grandma... i guess she must be feeling damn sad over her husband's death... she seems healthier.. i really hope that she'll be strong now..

besides my great grandma, i've got another grandma (dad's mum).. actually i'm quite afraid of losing her.. but i'm not sure why too... maybe she had taken lots of care for me since i was young till now...

i was told by my mum about my story when my grandpa died... i kept crying when they asked me to pick my grandpa's burnt ashes (bones) and place it into some container (cant remember the common term used).. i can remember it quite clearly... oh man.. i cant bring myself to see my great grandpa now... i'm afraid.. dont know y... i think i will cry soon... maybe sunday... that's when we have to walk n walk n walk..

in the meantime.. i'll catch some more rest as i have just returned from the wake... n it's morning now... oh man... i have to be back at 7pm again... time to zzz...

i'm jus bored...

bored bored bored... at this time... when i'm supposed to zzz... what to do... i wanna play mahjong!!! i wanna eat!! i wanna lose weight!! i wanna go for extreme makeover!!

there're times when i feel damn bad about myself... i was still that slim some years back.. now? i'm as fat as a pig... can i just go for some surgery and change my image?? argh...

i've got stuff to say... but i cant say it... cuz i may hurt our relationship during the process.. but i cant keep it to myself... each time i chat/see the person.. i wanna say it.. it's terrible to keep it as a secret... it's like saying, 'i saw ur bf with another girl'. it's not the same case, but it's that bad... i may change that person's life.. or maybe not and change mine instead... so should i disclose it? i dont want to be selfish.. i'm trying real hard not to... it's difficult.. but i dont wish the person to suffer because of me.. so i may not disclose it afterall..

friends....

everyone seems to be so busy with their daily life... what about me? i wanna be busy too! but i'm too lazy to get out of my hse.. hahaz.. i'm still waiting for my work permit.. sometimes i wonder, should i just leave sg for uk with my student visa, which expires only in oct... but i'm scared esp during custom clearance... those irritating officers always ask stupid questions...

tp friends eg, kris, xh, amy, alfred r always thattt busy with work or/n studies... IG friends eg, cx, zili, ys n alvin r working/ns/waiting for ns.. sec friends eg, sa, g, kac r working/slacking... ahahaz

though i've been back for quite some time, it seems that time is passing too slowly.. friends r so busy that i dont see them that often.. it somehow gave me the mentality that uk friends r better... cuz the distance between everyone is closer which means that we could meet up, just by walking across a street... not like singapore... if i wanna meet someone... i will have to travel there by bus / train.... what a waste of time... so sg friends... u guys better be more hardworking n meet me!! hahaz...

been around quite a few places in sg le... had eaten approx 40% of the local food.. not satisfied yet.. hahaz... i wanna be 101% satisfied!!

just imagine when i leave... i will DEFINITELY miss sg food... *sobs*

*prays for my friend's mum who is in hospi now n also good health to all*

it's about time....