i'm jus bored...

bored bored bored... at this time... when i'm supposed to zzz... what to do... i wanna play mahjong!!! i wanna eat!! i wanna lose weight!! i wanna go for extreme makeover!!

there're times when i feel damn bad about myself... i was still that slim some years back.. now? i'm as fat as a pig... can i just go for some surgery and change my image?? argh...

i've got stuff to say... but i cant say it... cuz i may hurt our relationship during the process.. but i cant keep it to myself... each time i chat/see the person.. i wanna say it.. it's terrible to keep it as a secret... it's like saying, 'i saw ur bf with another girl'. it's not the same case, but it's that bad... i may change that person's life.. or maybe not and change mine instead... so should i disclose it? i dont want to be selfish.. i'm trying real hard not to... it's difficult.. but i dont wish the person to suffer because of me.. so i may not disclose it afterall..